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Joke of the Day

"An Asian girl walks up to me in a bar. She says ***""Sex sex sex, free sex tonight!""*** Apparently she was giving me her number."

"My doctor was concerned about my health My doctor was concerned about my colon's health and wanted two stool samples, but I couldn't give two shits."

"It's easy to plan an orgy... ... the hard part is getting everyone to come."

"I'm not a womanizer! They were all women when I found them!"

"Rose: I'm so cold. Jack: Listen, Rose. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and- fine, you can have my damn hoodie"

"I got a hair cut for $10 At this rate, its gonna cost me a million dollars to get them all cut."

"no no no today isnt CASUAL friday, its CAUSAL friday. evrythimg u do today has a effect. for example: johnson why r u wearing jeans ur fired"

"Did you hear about the guy who is half black and half Japanese? Every December 7th he attacks Pearl Bailey."

"I feel like I could beat a polygraph test every time I tell someone that I'll make sure to return the Tupperware that the dish came in."

"Seeing your ex go through what they put you through. Priceless.."