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Joke of the Day

"You could call a woman beautiful 100 times and she'll never remember it. But call her ugly once and she'll never forget it. You know why? Because an elephant never forgets."

"Are you guys all right? No, you're all left. (Stolen from a master comedian from x factor)"

"What do you call a black man flying a plane A pilot"

"My vision is okish But in just a few years I'll be able to see 2020"

"Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief & suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called a Wedding Cake!!"

"There's a bizarre irony to jokes about Ebola going viral."

"Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push, into traffic."

"Where did the Candian pirate live? Ont**ARR**io"

"Unexpected things ""It says here on your resume that you're good at saying unexpected things.."" ""Yes I am"" ""But I thought you were gonna say something unexp- ..oh you're good"""

"Biggest Jewish Dilemma? Free Bacon!!"