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Joke of the Day

"A friend of mine told me all my clothes were gay... ""Keep your voice down!"" I yelled, ""some of them are still in the closet."""

"Know who loves to get fisted? Sock puppets."

"I politely asked a woman on my flight if she could put her kid in the overhead compartment & she looked at me like I was crazy or something."

"Mom, Dad, I'm a gatherer. -Caveman coming out to his parents."

"[first date] HER: What are you doing with the Tupperware? ME: [filling container] The sign says 'All You Can Eat', it doesn't specify when"

"You know why the undertaker was fired? He made a grave mistake."

"I love going to the park and watch the kids run and scream But they don't know I'm just using blanks"

"Q. What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? A. Finding half a worm."

"Life is a joke.. and death is the punch line."

"What kind of music do old people listen to Myback music. ill show myself out"