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Joke of the Day

"Now that ""twerking"" is in the Oxford dictionary, we probably can go back to grunting and hitting things to communicate."

"This Male Order Bride is the worst and most expensive typo I've ever paid for."

"Everybody made fun of how I lost a race to the fat kid in school. If only my wheelchair was faster."

"Do they sell 2017 calendars by the month? Not sure I want to commit to a full year."

"Shouldn't the Air and Space museum be empty?"

"*Sees ant carrying a leaf that weighs 3x its body weight* Wife: Can you imagine being that strong? Me: *Picking up leaf* Yes."

"Did you hear about the woman who died at an orgy last night? She went down swinging."

"Why does it take 10 women with premenstrual tension to change a light bulb? IT JUST DOES, OK JERK?!!!! NOW SHUT UP OR I WILL STAB YOU WITH THE SCISSORS!"

"Why did the Egyptian spit out his water? Because it came from the Suez."

"If your social security number was your cell phone number... what would your number be?"