51850

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the woman who died at an orgy last night? She went down swinging."

"What should you do when your epileptic child starts seizing in the bathtub? Throw in your laundry!"

"What did Will Smith say to Carleton when he asked if he was ready to leave their yoga class? Nah I'ma stay."

"What is a chicken's favorite composer? Bach!"

"Dijon vu The feeling you've eaten this mustard before."

"Dogs can't operate an Mri machines... But catscan"

"My boss just sent me the heart eyes emoji. Since we're clearly being honest with each other I replied with a monkey with a gun to its head."

"I dated a 21 year old for 3 months before she looked up from her phone and realized I wasn't Tobey Maguire"

"Why did the wizard ask a pretty chick to throw a heavy box on him ? Not just the hard on............ it would've made him more flexible"

"Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. it's only fair since you're getting the credit for the gifts, that you should start paying for them also.."