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Joke of the Day

"What did the male cat say to the female cat. Damn girl you looking feline."

"How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep? You rocket"

"What do women and rocks have in common? You can skip the flat ones."

"I found a new way to get my wife to wash the car. When ever it gets dusty I write the following on it: ""I wish my Wife was this Dirty""."

"Why did Microsoft skip windows 9? Because 7 ate 9"

"Having a good friend is just like peeing your pants. Everybody can see it but only you feel that warm sensation of happiness."

"Castro: I will not die until America is destroyed. Trump: I'm gonna be the president Castro: well then......."

"GIRL NEARBY: I'm breaking up with you, Kevin. You don't talk about Pokemon enough. [I sit up straight and frantically try smoothing my hair]"

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."

"Let's make this house party... a *home* party."