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Joke of the Day

"I found a new way to get my wife to wash the car. When ever it gets dusty I write the following on it: ""I wish my Wife was this Dirty""."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis."

"It's that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids."

"Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear ? Because they have electric 'eels !"

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit's Fingers"

"Two Irishmen walk out of a pub."

"Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes"

"[halftime] Coach: Okay men we're literally losing at basketball to a dog... any ideas? -I have one. *pulls out vacuum with a jersey on*"

"If I could, I would avoid every conversation by making that beeping truck sound while slowly backing away from people as they approach me."

"Will trump get a second term? Does it look like I have 2020 vision?"