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Joke of the Day

"If the person next to you on a flight wont stop talking, take out a Skymall catalog & eat the entire thing while never breaking eye contact."

"Patient: Doctor what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points? Doctor: Sell!"

"Admit it... You get a small rush of happiness when your crush likes your Facebook status."

"Jurassic World Fight That fight scene at the end was really intense. I can't help but think those dinos will be sore tomorrow."

"What do you call a white guy in an abusive relationship? Whipped cream."

"Why don't Greek people need sex? The government fucks them everyday!"

"""Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!"" - literally no one ever"

"Irish Jokes Megathread Post all of your Irish, St. Patrick's Day, or good ol' Emerald Isle jokes for the day here! I'd like to share some with coworkers."

"Teacher: Shall I put the school computer on? Pupil: No Miss the dress you're wearing looks fine."

"I HATE stereo-types.. Samsung, Sony, Toshiba, doesn't matter. Can't stand 'em."