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Joke of the Day

"Irish Jokes Megathread Post all of your Irish, St. Patrick's Day, or good ol' Emerald Isle jokes for the day here! I'd like to share some with coworkers."

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"What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck."
"Did you hear bout the new iphone with professional camera? Its called the eyephone."
"What do you call people who don't repost jokes? liars"
"There are 3 types of people in this world.. ..Those who can count, and those who can't."
"What does a baker wear on his feet? Loafers."
"A pedophile serial killer lures a child into a forest on a rainy night The kid says, ""I'm scared."" The pedophile responds, ""You're scared? I'm the one that has to walk out of here alone."""
"""I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?"""
"Curveball What is black, bitter and dont work worth a damn? . . . . Decaf coffee."
"Bought some expensive neck cream. Directions say to apply it twice daily. If I slather it on every hour, I'll have the neck of a teen."