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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Shall I put the school computer on? Pupil: No Miss the dress you're wearing looks fine."

"News, just in: Truck Stolen! A lorry containing 150 pallets of Viagra was stolen last night. Police are searching the country for a gang of hardened criminals."

"Real men don't need guns. One time I beat a burglar to death with a sleeve of Ritz crackers and used the crumblings for a casserole crust."

"It's the anniversary of the Titanic sinking. Fortunately, we've made sure that would never happen today by melting all the icebergs."

"Why was the Tibetan monk celibate? Because he didn't give a fuck."

"My girlfriend said she was leaving me because I never pay attention ...or something like that... I wasn't really listening."

"What do you call it when a therapist falls down for no reason? A Freudian slip."

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't"

"Nerdy Fairy Tale ""Grandmother, what big ears you have!"" ""Since I can't see you, I can at least hear you Infrared Ridinghood..."""

"A rapist, a carpenter, and Alexander the Great walk into a bar They came, they saw, they conquered"