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Joke of the Day

"What did Hillary Clinton say at the last debate? Nothing...because she was in the kitchen where she belongs."

"If you're behind someone at an ATM late night, let them know you're not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck."

"The revolution will not be televised. It will be streaming on netflix this summer"

"A recent survey showed that most UK citizens don't eat salad... 52% of them voted against romaine"

"Your momma is so old.. her social security number is 000-00-0001"

"I can really only think of one thing worse than genocide. Jews."

"It seems to be true, particularly in middle America, that those most militant about using up fossil fuels, don't actually believe in fossils"

"A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better sex. Unfortunately, the study was conducted by Bill Cosby"

"How do you answer the question ""What's new?"" without sighing really loudly first?"

"hot dogs were invented in 1936 by Larry Hotdogs when he accidentally dropped a bag of prize-winning pig assholes in his Dick Shaper Machine"