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Joke of the Day

"It seems to be true, particularly in middle America, that those most militant about using up fossil fuels, don't actually believe in fossils"

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"When life gives you melons, You might be dyslexic."
"Finding a girlfriend is like finding a parking lot, Only the handicapped ones are left."
"What's got 2 thumbs and is worse than Donald Trump? No, seriously. I'm asking."
"Today's life lesson: ""I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing them off is a piece of cake."""
"I broke my finger today but on the other hand I am completely fine"
"I wonder if mormons support the transgendered? If they did, they could go on a transmission! -- authentic dadjoke overheard at breakfast"
"How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate? He already told you so."
"I'm not sexist... being sexist is wrong and being wrong is for women."
"Why, yes, I am dressed for the weather. I am wearing a house."