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Joke of the Day

"wife: ""im sorry, he has to try everything before he buys it"" store owner: ""it's okay"" me: [lying in a coffin] ""the first one was better"""

"A drunk man walks up to an Englishman pissing on a tree... And says, ""Yurr ahh.... European!"""

"Where do you guys stand on the cheese debate? I'm staunchly pro-volone."

"Are you from Idaho... Are you from Idaho cause I-da-hoe for you."

"What did our parents do to kill boredom before the Internet ? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they don't know either."

"A Butt walks in to a bar. . . The bartender asks, ""What'll ya have?"" and the Butt says ""Pfffbbtbtbt"" Then the bartender turns to his friend and says, ""What an ass."""

"U know your mind is gone when u get out of bath and realize u only shaved one leg Unless u only have one leg... Then you're good"

"Was just complaining about Mondays. Then I thought, ""Wow. David Lee Roth would never do that."" So I shut up & finished my breakfast."

"I was just asked to give my credit card details. I said, ""It's rectangular, blue and not very valuable."""

"Why did the Trix bunny hand out eggs? Chicks are for kids!"