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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said she's like a man because she pees in the shower. I said, you're not a man until you pee in the toilet, From the shower."

"I once shook hands with Michael J Fox He seemed pretty offended, but in my defense, the room was cold."

"My girlfriend just dumped me because I she says I talk too much about video games... ...It's a horribl**e** thing to Fallout 4."

"[son's football game] Other dad: which one's yours? Me: I can't remember. I just wait for him in the car when the games over"

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Irish!"

"u don't need dangerous marijuana pot get high on life -ride a bike -read a good book -make a sacrifice to the dark lord -watch a sunset"

"I put my phone on airplane mode and now I can't bloody find it"

"True friends don't judge each other. They judge other people.. together."

"Senator John Tester from Montana and his executive assistant both have only seven fingers. That is so hot!"

"Jumps into shower Shower : I have a boyfriend"