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Joke of the Day
"Why did the dog lose the lawsuit? It was a shih-tzu"
Next Joke
"The countdown to my sister's wedding has begun, a constant reminder that I'm just a unibrow & a showtune away from being Susan Boyle."
"What was the dog doing on the turnpike? About seven miles an hour."
"pregnancy tests should just read ""pregnant"" or ""nope just fat"""
"I hate menstruation jokes They're a bloody pain."
"Why did the sperm cross the street? Because i put on the wrong socks."
"Did you hear about the Murfreesboro muddlebrain whose father told him about the birds and the bees? The next day the Tennessean was stung by a bee and thought he was pregnant."
"It's bad enough I have to worry about people when I leave my house now I have to contend with Pokemon as well"
"""You can't sleep either?"" Says a voice from under your bed."
"If I'm ever in an accident while driving and tweeting and you're the first person to arrive on the scene, grab my phone and press ""Send."""