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Joke of the Day

"The countdown to my sister's wedding has begun, a constant reminder that I'm just a unibrow & a showtune away from being Susan Boyle."

"What does r/The_Donald call its rule list? The MAGA Carta"

"Why does Barbie never get pregnant? Because Ken came in a different box."

"Two boll weevils grew up together. One became rich and famous. They other became poor and homeless. The second one is the lesser of two weevils."

"This girl winked at me and said she wanted to go somewhere quiet. So I took her to the library."

"What did the fireman say when the church caught on fire? ""Holy smoke!"""

"Did you hear the one about Jonestown? I'd tell it to you, but the punch line's too long."

"TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway. Whoops, wrong sub."

"GF just thought of the best name for a drink. The Vadge Liqueur. (Should I be concerned? This was totally random)"

"Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them? I did! Well here's the elastic band."