151983

Joke of the Day

"Why did the sperm cross the street? Because i put on the wrong socks."

"Here's a handy trick. When people are talking to you, nod and think about other stuff."

"Darth Vader, you are the father! --Star Wars cast on the set of Maury"

"NOW THAT is a great looking tie! just. WOW. I mean, SHIT, that's nice! seriously, that tie is fucking PERFECT! ... I ran over your kid."

"There are some people walking around alive today, simply because I don't want to go to jail tomorrow."

"Two astronauts went to a bar on the moon but they left after a few minutes ? You see it had no atmosphere !"

"Two men were remembering their wedding days. ""It was dreadful"" said Fred. ""I got the most terrible fright."" ""What happened?"" asked Harry. ""I married her"" replied Fred."

"I always blurt out, ""SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND"" in my best Al Pacino Scarface accent when I stand next to a stranger at a urinal."

"Recently found out my toaster was not waterproof I was shocked."

"How did the bucket's mom know he was sick? He was a little pail."