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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone infected with herpes... Who refuses to date someone else infected with herpes... A Herpocrit! A very awesome friend said he came up with this just randomly, do I believe him?"

"What is M. Night Shyamalan's favorite pastry? A cinema-n twist."

"Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them."

"INTERVIEWER: your resume says that you take things too literally ME: how the hell did my resume say that?"

"Finally watched an episode of America's Got Talent and I disagree."

"Why did the Duck flying in the sky get Shot? Michael J Fox was hunting rabbits."

"Thanks god my wife die. hhhhhhhhh"

"I'll throw corrosive acid in the face of anyone who casually glaces at my computer screen while passing my cubicle."

"Got pulled over by a cop, asking me if I knew how fast I was going No, I said - the speedometer only goes up to 240 km/h"

"How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh? Tentickles."