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Joke of the Day

"Got pulled over by a cop, asking me if I knew how fast I was going No, I said - the speedometer only goes up to 240 km/h"

"I am busy contemplating my future. Don't worry, this will only take a minute."

"What is the favorite sex position of James Bond? 69 - she **shakes** and he **stirs**."

"What do you call a capitalist Bernie Sanders? Earning Sanders."

" Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . He lost WW2."

"The wife left a note by the TV today saying ""Its not working, I'm leaving"" I plugged it in, turned it on, nothing wrong with it stupid cow!"

"If you open this, you will lose. THE GAME Sorry. EDIT For the newbies: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game_(mind_game)"

"Why do elephants drink? Well, mostly to forget....."

"What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion? An Accordion. ...I'll, uh, see myself out."

"Why did princess Diana cross the road? She forgot to wear a seatbelt."