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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between my ex and the titanic? The titanic only went down on 1,000 people!"

"Why an Irish man might vote for Donald Trump Because he thinks his Capital will keep on Dublin under his presidency"

"My dad died five years ago but I still see him everywhere I look. Makes me wish I hadn't dismembered him."

"Europe be like... eu: uk bro? uk: it's not eu, it's me."

"1. Read directions on box. 2. Throw box away. 3. Pull box out of the trash 15 seconds later. 4. Repeat."

"What colour does a smurf turn when you choke it? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating."

"Maybe we should stop making ski masks since no one wears them except bank robbers."

"Do you know why Apple steals all their ideas? Cause when they make their own I lose my headphones."

"Sometimes I wish I were an octopus... so that I could slap 8 people at once."

"I saw my brothers mate yesterday... I said, ""You shouldn't be doing that, you're brothers!"""