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Joke of the Day

"1. Read directions on box. 2. Throw box away. 3. Pull box out of the trash 15 seconds later. 4. Repeat."

"HOLY SHIT I JUST CORRECTLY GUESSED A WIFI PASSWORD AM I JESUS?"

"What would be a good title for an Indian porno? Thank You, Cum Again"

"Stop. Stop it right now. I'm going to count to five. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. ~A parenting haiku."

"Throughout my entire life, there have always been two things I can count on My hands"

"Which newspaper is most popular around cows? The Moo York Times"

"I once knew a guy named Dapeng Nguyen. He was the first Asian-Antarctican."

"The worst kind of human contact is ""eye contact through that crack in a bathroom stall when you're pulling up your pants"" contact."

"What do you call a group of confused Spanish speaking racists? The Que Que Que?"

"Why doesn't Ed have a girlfriend? Because Sheeran"