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Joke of the Day

"Not really getting much out of this Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, to be honest. It's almost as if my 6yo had never used PowerPoint before"

"What is Forest Gump's password? 1forest1"

"You know you're married when you find her sexier with clothes on."

"I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up."

"Just remembered this one I made a few years ago How are the Mafia and the Amish similar? They both don't like wires"

"So I heard that back in the day Hammurabi was actually Jewish... yea, they actually called him Hammurabbi. ^badum ^tsssssss ^^^please ^^^^don't ^^^^^hurt ^^^^^^me"

"Why did the Irishman only put 239 beans in his bean soup? Because one more would be too farty"

"I hope this new health care bill also includes every American's right to a lollipop after leaving the doctor."

"Don't hate the player, play the player. They never see that coming."

"Why is it better to be fat than skinny? Because the pros LITERALLY outweigh the cons!"