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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: I heard you were extremly quick at Math... Me: ""yes, as a matter of fact I am"" Interviewer: ""Whats 14x27"" Me: ""49"" Interviewer: ""that's not even close"" me: ""yeah, but it was fast"""

"Now that Britain has left the EU, you'll need a Visa to get in and around ...for everything else, there's Mastercard."

"Fun prank: 1: steal your married friends phone 2: change your name to ""Brandi from the club"" 3: call them repeatedly and hang up at 3AM"

"Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason is you are stupid and make bad descisions..."

"My girlfriend told me to humble down shes just jealous of the fact that I'm the most humble man on earth"

"What do you call a muslim in the 90's? Radical"

"[flashback to 1st date] *cuts round hole in bottom of popcorn Me: Popcorn? Her: No thanks. (Mom reaches from row behind) ""I'll have some."""

"Snoop Dogg tweeted that he was in one of the shark costumes during the halftime show. ""That wasn't Snoop Dogg, it was just Snoop Lion."""

"Accidentally used my GF's razor and now I feel fat and I'm pretty pissed about something you guys did 3 years ago"

"""Mom guess what I'm getting married!!!"" Is he rich? ""I think so. His name is Charles Mansion"""