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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you mix a fly, a snake head, and Mickey Mouse? The hell out of there."

"Top 5 causes of loose stools: 5. Indian food 4. Lactose 3. Coffee 2. Mexican food 1. IKEA"

"I tried water polo but... My horse drowned."

"If you want to make God laugh.... ...tell him your plans."

"Why didn't Rivendell help Gondor? Elfish reasons."

"My wife just gave me an ultimatum, it's either her or Facebook. So sadly, this will be my last joke..... in which I talk about having a wife."

"The next time you make fun of a ginger, put yourself in their shoes. You'll know how bad it hurts to not have a sole."

"No matter how far you push the envelope... It's still stationery. Fixed it."

"How do you give a lemon an orgasm? You tickle its citrus. (all credit to the movie *The Descent*)"

"roses r red violets r blue sunflowers r yellow i bet u were expecting someting romantic but no this is just gardening facts"