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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you mix a fly, a snake head, and Mickey Mouse? The hell out of there."

"If Rand Paul ran for president and put Scott Walker on his ticket as running mate, their campaign would be Paul Walker 2016"

"The other day I saw a sign on my street for a garage sale ...but I didn't go. I already had a garage."

"I am so glad that BP is easier to spell then Eyjafjallajokull"

"The worst thing about being in my 40's is that I can't get teenaged girls to sleep with me. It's like being a teenager again."

"Sorry! Just saw these texts now! Hope your birthday party, Christmas and wedding were great!"

"Yesterday I watched Rogue One, featuring a cameo from Carrie Fisher. One hour later she was dead. So today I'll be watching Home Alone 2."

"Serious top linked post on /r/science made me laugh: ""Giant methane storms on Uranus"" Original link: http://phys.org/news/2015-03-giant-methane-storms-uranus.html"

"Sugar is the only word in English language in which ""Su"" is pronounced as ""Shu"". I am pretty sure about it."

"What's the penis from Bill Gates like? Micro and soft."