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Joke of the Day

"Ever listened to 90s R&B lyrics? Sex you up? Licky boom-boom down? No wonder none of us know what the hell were doing in relationships"

"""Yo it's your boy! You already know who it is!"" -every rapper that is not your boy and who you do not know"

"How many designers does it take to change a lightbulb? Does it really have to be a lightbulb?"

"[interrogation] Where were you last night? ""Out killing people"" Louder for the tape [leans in] ""The Cheesecake Factory, that's where I was"""

"Two bananas walk into a strip club. One banana looks over at the other and says, ""This is quite a peeling."""

"What do gay Japanese jocks give each other? Brojobs."

"My phone died, so I was forced to ""print"" a physical copy of my boarding pass, just like The Wright Brothers used to in the olden days"

"Let's play the Rihanna drinking game! We'll drink a shot of vodka every time she says 'work'. [2 minutes later] *house is on fire*"

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's very time consuming"

"Avoid unwanted pregnancies by using the ""pull out"" method where you pull out an acoustic guitar at a party & no one will have sex with you."