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Joke of the Day

"What would it take to reunite the Beatles? 2 more bullets."

"Which came first: the chicken or the egg? The rooster"

"Documentaries must provide 90% of the employment for violin players."

"How many times can you watch the Godfather movies before you're bored? More than a Coppola times....Solozzo times I guess..don't be a Fredo gettin' addicted to it.... It's Kay :)"

"All life is precious. Unless you're an accountant, then you welcome sweet death."

"Remember the first time offender who was into bdsm? It made him late for an appointment. His excuse? He got tied up in court."

"i ate my weight in goldfish crackers. i'm hoping to poop a shark."

"INFORMER!!! Younosaydahdfrxqpgirnmekdmhgjwrztnhyenixblaamm... A LICKY BOOM BOOM DOWN!"

"My new juice cleanse is called Vodka with a side of Tonic"

"Hunters Two hunters are in the woods. One passes out, so the other calls 911. ""How may we assist you?"" ""I think my friend is dead."" ""Make sure he's dead."" *Bang* ""Done."""