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Joke of the Day

"The Hurricane came through here like a tornado -Lady on the News just now I don't want to live on this planet anymore"

"What would To Kill a Mockingbird be called if Harper Lee was an alcoholic? Tequila Mockingbird."

"What does a gynocologist and a pizza man have in common? Thay can smell the goods, but they can't taste them."

"my lawyer wants me to turn myself into the police but I keep telling him impersonating a cop is what got me into trouble in the first place"

"Terrible Chemistry Joke Timmy was a Chemist But now he is no more What he thought was H2O Was H2SO4"

"Are you okay? Yes Did you take your cold medicine? Umm yes Why are you so nervous? I never thought throw pillows would ask so many questions"

"Girl, yo grammatical atrocities so huge, you need typosuction."

"Her: You have selective hearing. You never hear criticism and only hear things that make you look good. Me: Thanks, you look good too."

"ME: so what do you do GUY: I'm an oral surgeon ME: *imagining him doing heart surgery with just his mouth* wow I bet you're a helluva kisser"

"What's the only part of a vegetable you can't eat? The wheelchair..."