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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear what happened in the Multi-Language Translation Race? Nobody made it to the Finnish Line."

"My grandfather's holocaust stories aren't half as depressing as the contestant interview segment on Jeopardy."

"I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now i can't find him."

"{Goes to buy Virgin Airlines ticket} ""Can I buy one even if I've done sex?"" Um. Yes sir ""Cause I have"" Okay ""I've done all of it"" Please go"

"Why didn't the principal of the school for the blind allow his students to go duck-hunting? He knew that some of them wouldn't miss the blind ..."

"My wife worships me She puts burnt offerings in front of me everyday"

"Went to a meeting for cat addicts last night. More nuns than I expected."

"I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said -Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?- -Yes officer but I wasn't going to be out that long.-"

"What's the difference between reddit and resturant ? Restaurants have better servers."

"The scientists a scientist went to a remote island with a dog in order to teach his speaking. Three years later, the scientist returns, and is asked about his experiment; he replied ""woof, woof, woof"""