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Joke of the Day

"Monday morning, still sore from my run and all I have at work is acetaminophen, meaning if I take it I can't drink until like 11AM."

"How much time did you spend on your hair before you took a selfie of your boobs?"

"Did you hear about the woman who ordered a double entendre at the bar? The bartender reached under the bar whipped it out and gave it to her"

"This Super Market doesn't even sell capes."

"Overheard this at Grand Canyon. ""Why do they put chicken wire around these plants? Other guy:"" To protect the chicken plants"""

"What do Apple and Titanic have in common? They both killed Jack."

"How does the pedophile like his music? Just like his dick - in a minor."

"Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?"

"The word ""beard"" comes from an old Latin phrase meaning ""sit on my face"""

"what idiot called it ""alphabet soup"" instead of ""times new ramen""?"