20707

Joke of the Day

"Kanye West is now on Twitter. Since he doesn't follow anyone, not only will he not let you finish, he's not gonna let you start, either."

"Fear is not the same is respect. For instance I fear bears but integrity wise they are huge pieces of shit"

"My wife let me remove all her clothes last night. From the dryer."

"What is 30 feet long and has 42 teeth? A bus full of rednecks"

"Last night I dreamt I ate a giant marshmallow. When I woke up my pillow was gone !"

"Did you hear about the arms dealer who's giving away M18 Claymores with every purchase? Oh, I'm gonna get mines."

"How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot before he hits the water."

"I laid here for almost 10 minutes before anyone asked if I was okay after I pretended to get elecrocuted by the copier. Fuck these assholes."

"why can't you hear michelle pfeiffer in the bathroom? Because the P is silent."

"A large hole appeared outside the local police station. They're looking into it."