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Joke of the Day

"If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them."

"I am part of the 1% Well, at least my cell phone battery is."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Why bother calling it?"

"I don't normally cook. How much vodka do you add to the mashed potatoes?"

"I got my haircut the other day... ...and I just saw my barber at the grocery. He asked how I liked my haircut. I told him I didn't like it at first, but its growing on me."

"Have you heard the joke about the pencil? It's not really worth it, it doesn't have a point."

"What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line."

"If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer ...oh wait, he does."

"Promised myself that today I wouldn't steal anything, kill anyone or use any Meatloaf song lyrics in a sentence & two out of three ain't bad"

"What dog always gets on everyone's nerves? A great pane!"