172009

Joke of the Day

"What Time Did Sean Connery Arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish"

"I think my husband cheated on me. Not one of our kids resembles him at all..."

"Money can buy happiness. Give me 100 million dollars and I'll prove it to you."

"Do you want to know what Jon Snow and yo momma have in common? They both can be stabbed multiple times and not die..."

"What is the difference between a baker baking a cake and a gynecologist giving an exam? A few degrees."

"I tried to use the bury a dog above a body trick the graveyard employee didnt let me"

"How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1.00 mistake in an expense report? Three. One to find the mistake and two to discuss the significance of it."

"I was flattered that our mailman calls me ""Sunshine"" until I overheard him call my neighbor, the double amputee, ""Speedy."""

"What's the difference between America and a yogurt? After 200 years a yogurt will develop a culture."

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says ""why the long face?"" The horse says ""oh...well my leg is really messed up, so tomorrow they are gunna shoot me in the fuckin head"""