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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if your sperm count is high? Your partner has to chew before they swallow."

"How do you kill a vegetarian vampire? With a steak to the heart."

"the thing about the weather getting colder is that it makes you think you want to date someone when what you want is heavy socks"

"Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed? Because they finish each other's sentences"

"What do you call Neil DeGrasse Tyson with champagne poured over his chest? An Astro-fizzy-tits."

"If I ever ask you, very seductively, ""Do you wanna do it?"" It means take a nap."

"Q: How can you identify an Irish pirate? A: He's the one with patches over both eyes."

"Shout out to all hoarders, sleeping on piles of cats and whatnot."

"A hole was discovered in the fence of a nudist community. Police are looking into it."

"I was having trouble reverse parking... ...until I tried my back-up plan."