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Joke of the Day

"Bruce Willis is working on the 5th Die Hard movie! They should call this one ""Just kill me already!!!"""

"Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy .... .... I hear you ask."

"It takes two who know how to tango to tango."

"Sometimes I put a ""for sale"" sign in my neighbor's yard and pray the power of suggestion works."

"I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I'm confused about how many at night?"

"Ready for the only way to enjoy Instagram? Follow zero people. Follow every dog."

"Q: How is Clinton's health care reform a lot like his haircut? A: It is a lot more expensive than it looks."

"Did you hear Donald Trump wants to ban pre-shredded cheese? Apparently a bunch of immigrants work in the Kraft factory."

"Monopoly I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly."

"I don't drink anymore. Cocaine is a Hell of a drug!"