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Joke of the Day

"Shout out to all hoarders, sleeping on piles of cats and whatnot."

"Did you know Hitler's father was a cobbler? He made Jews."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... beat up and dragged in a burlap sack over the Andes Mountains."

"What kind of a fish does your Parrot sit on? A Perch!"

"What did the one llama say to the other before they went on vacation? ALPACA BAG"

"My girlfriend went blind I hear when people lose one sense, it improves their others. Maybe she will improve in her sense of humour."

"My wife left me for a fisherman. Poor guy's still reeling."

"My ex girlfriend wasn't able to handle my OCD I told her to close the door five times on her way out."

"I think I can fix one of your ripped shirts. Well sew it seams anyway."

"I've been having an affair with a film director's wife. Yesterday he caught us in bed together. He was furious. I said to him, ""Look, mate, don't make a scene."""