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Joke of the Day

"i blame everything on the illuminati. stale bread? illuminati."

"What do you call a vagina born on May 14th?... ... a CliTaurus"

"Why did god give Marines one more IQ point than he gave to horses. So they won't shit during parades."

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."

"Dear men, if you stopped seeing your wife as a woman, it doesn't mean that all men are blind."

"Promised myself that today I wouldn't steal anything, kill anyone or use any Meatloaf song lyrics in a sentence & two out of three ain't bad"

"How do New Zealander's find sheep in long grass? Delightful"

"Want to talk about rape? No? That's the spirit."

"I had to quit my job at the helium factory. No one talks to me like that."

"There once was a plumber named Leigh Who was plumbing his girl by the sea She said, ""stop your plumbing,"" ""I hear someone coming!"" Said the plumber, still plumbing ""...it's me."""