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Joke of the Day
"I had to quit my job at the helium factory. No one talks to me like that."
Next Joke
"[hospital] DOCTOR: you're ok ME: so it was just a dream DOCTOR: no your heart did turn into a bowl of cereal but your system is accepting it"
"What is the stupidest animal in the jungle? The polar bear."
"I bought a pair of shoes from a ginger. I have no idea why he sold them to me, they have no soles."
"I invented a new golf ball that will automatically go in the hole if it gets to within 4 inches. Do NOT carry them in your back pocket."
"When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I just wanna to use my finger & write `""WASH ME""` on her face."
"What, I'm Asian? *slides off Uggs & infinity scarf inside Starbucks* *buys a bonsai tree*"
"How's your day been? Grape!"
"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk. - TommyEdisonXP (youtuber)"
"My friend compared me to a singular cloud in an otherwise blue summer sky No one wants me around. Which admittedly is pretty great...I had no idea he thought so highly of me."