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Joke of the Day

"Dear men, if you stopped seeing your wife as a woman, it doesn't mean that all men are blind."

"Maybe my grandma stayed married for 50 yrs because she never said stuff like ""I just wish he would support me, you know, creatively."""

"You, me, a bottle of wine, soft music, a picnic basket, a strange growl, a bear, a tree, coyotes, a rescue chopper, a hospital, dessert."

"""You wouldn't like me when I'm angry... Because I always back up my rage with facts and well documented sources"" -The Credible Hulk"

"What do you call a German singalong? Follow the lieder!"

"Mickey Mouse's lawyer calls... ...And tells him, ""Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because shes 'crazy'"" and Mickey responds, ""I didn't say she was crazy, i said she was fucking goofy!"""

"I can't prove God isn't real, but at the same time, I can't prove that my dog doesn't run a violent Asian street gang while I'm asleep."

"I just shit my pants! I guess it serves me right for eating them in the first place..."

"Hurt my back while sleeping last night in case you're wondering how I'd do running a marathon."

"Video Games made me do it. Rock n' Roll made me do it. Witches made me do it. Satan made me do it. - a short history of responsibility"