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Joke of the Day

"There once was a plumber named Leigh Who was plumbing his girl by the sea She said, ""stop your plumbing,"" ""I hear someone coming!"" Said the plumber, still plumbing ""...it's me."""

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"[at gym] me: [wiping down equipment after finishing with it] cute girl: you don't have to do that with the vending machine. are you crying"
"Why can't puns be explained to kleptomaniacs? Because they always take things literally"
"Why do men stare at a woman's breasts? To prove they can focus on two things at once."
"What happens when you plant a sesame seed? Does a sesame grow? What is a sesame? Where my botanists at? Where the hell am I?"
"I'm a shy person with low self-esteem, but I'll tell you a great joke ..if you promise not to laugh."
"What is a ghost pirate's favourite letter? Boo! T"
"Four Polish men die in a car accident Two in the actual crash and two more in the reenactment."
"Hey wanna hear a fat joke? [deleted]"
"Midget wrestling... ...seems like it would be a pretty short career."