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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the chemist turned stand-up comic? He didn't last too long; his jokes didn't get the best reactions."

"A guy was admitted to my local hospital yesterday where they found 6 plastic horses stuck in his ass. The Doctor came out and described his status as Stable........"

"Wondering why ""cuck"" has become the new insult of choice among basement dwellers and neck beards? They finally found an insult that can never be used against them."

"What did the asian parents call their retarded son? Sum ting wong"

"whenever i trip a skinny girl running in only a sports bra i feel like i'm doing god's work"

"Wife: Who was that on the phone? Husband: Wrong number. Some guy thought this was the weather bureau. Wife: What did he say? Husband: He asked if the coast was clear..."

"What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce patch? Seizure salad"

"Why wont a Jewish cannibal eat a German? Germans seem to give them bad gas..."

"Experiment: text your parents ""got 2 grams for $40"" then right after ""Sorry ignore that txt. Not for you"" Then tweet pic of their response."

"Just got put on a watchlist by the NSA for using the man-with-a-turban emoji."