203165

Joke of the Day

"I haven't seen a Brazilian as bad as Fred since Stevie Wonder shaved his wife's pussy."

"It's oddly fitting that most Americans celebrate Presidents' Day by taking the day off and not doing the job they were hired to do."

"An Angel came to Mary ""She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel. "" To which Mary replied, ""Yikes... I kinda already picked out Jesus"""

"Where do you send Jewish kids with ADHD? Concentration Camp"

"Misery loves company. And from what I can tell, the company she loves is the one where I work."

"*wife stares at me* *I stare at her* *she frowns* *I smile* ""You didn't notice my new-"" ""NICE HAIRCUT AND GLASSES."" ""Dress."""

"I'd definitely watch a show with Dr. Phil going door to door reading people's Google search history out-loud with the most judgmental stare."

"What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza can have pepperoni, Jews can't. Oh, and that other thing."

"STOP EDITING YOUR PICS, what if you go missing? How tf can we find you if you look like Beyonce on Instagram but Waka Flocka in real life?"

"Why does Peter Pan Fly? Because he Neverlands."