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Joke of the Day
"I like my men like I like my tea in little disposable bags"
Next Joke
"Life is like a box of chocolates... It runs out faster for fat people."
"[A Dad about to give the birds & the bees talk] ""Son, when-"" *Watches son try to poke a Capri Sun for 35 minutes* ""Know what, we're good"""
"Everyone lectures Americans about our politics.. We use our military to lecture the rest of the world's on theirs."
"What's the difference... ...between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg"
"My wife is so much better looking than me... ...that a cashier just put a plastic divider down in the middle of our groceries. Credit: Charles Demers"
"Can you get HIV off a toilete seat? Only if it's already in use"
"How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go ride bikes?"
"Policeman: What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour? Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident."
"You're more special than relativity."