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Joke of the Day

"[A Dad about to give the birds & the bees talk] ""Son, when-"" *Watches son try to poke a Capri Sun for 35 minutes* ""Know what, we're good"""

"Garbage day. When you find out which neighbors are drunks by how many bottles they throw out holy shit this one still has something in it."

"What do you call a Chinese guy with a large penis? Hung Kong."

"I love Yahoo Answers because no matter how bizarre my question, someone in the world has already thought of it. And thats really comforting."

"I have seen this one on here before but nobody ever gets it right... A baby seal walks into a club - What a tragedy...."

"Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer? Because he lies on one side and then turns around and lies on the other one."

"My friend posted on Facebook: ""Spending the night in with my girl"" I couldn't help but chuckle, My Girl is a shit film."

"WIFE: how old is your daughter? WIFE'S FRIEND: she's eight going on nine. ME: *whispering* That's how numbers work"

"The best thing about gay bars is that if someone turns their back to you it's not necessarily a bad thing"

"I'll bet you, like me, average the most ""uh""s per sentence when ordering at a fast food drive thru."