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Joke of the Day

"You're more special than relativity."

"Just tasteless A man gets the words ""I LOVE YOU"" tattooed on his crank. His wife tells him ""Quit putting words in my mouth!"""

"Me: Now what's the rule, son? 11yo: *sighs* If his first album came out after 2000, I can't call him a rapper. Me: You're learning..."

"Chuck Norris was what Willis was talking about."

"Oh, you want to fight? Ok, one second *takes off glasses, removes retainer, unpins towel cape, empties snacks from pockets, sets down kitten"

"Why did Hydrogen hurt Iron? Because he wanted to see him Sulfur."

"I love u it's my favourite vowel"

"Mr. Trump, what will you do as President? TRUMP: I'll outlaw shredded cheese and only sell blocks Why? TRUMP: To make America grate again"

"Why did Mrs. Grape leave Mr. Grape? She was tired of raisin kids."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his butt"