189858

Joke of the Day

"My wife is so much better looking than me... ...that a cashier just put a plastic divider down in the middle of our groceries. Credit: Charles Demers"

"Her: Put your finger on it! Me: Like this? Her: Oh yeah, I can finish now! -Making the perfect bow"

"To the idiots who say ghosts aren't real, maybe you should watch this documentary called Ghostbusters."

"You know who DOES see something wrong with a little bump n' grind? Trevor in human resources."

"I Tweet and drive because the tragedy of me forgetting a Tweet is far greater than me being injuried"

"Do you know the difference between camping and molestation? No? In that case, do you want to go camping this weekend?"

"Why don't chickens wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face."

"What did the doctor say to the man who couldn't pee? Urine trouble!"

"Straight guys on twitter, If you haven't been hit on by a gay guy on here take a long look at yourself & figure out what's wrong with you."

"I'd never lie just to get a girl to sleep with me, is one of my favorite lies to tell girls that I am trying to sleep with."