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Joke of the Day

"How to catch a polar bear: Step 1: cut a hole in the ice. Step 2: set a can of peas opened and in front of it. Step 3: When the bear comes to take a pea kick it in the ice hole."

"What can a homeless figure skater do to get by? Turn-tricks"

"What is it called when a Redditor writes about his life? A meme-oir"

"SON: *first word* momma. MOM: DID YOU HEAR THAT? ME: *distracted by the faint song of an ice cream truck* He never comes down our street."

"I really hope my family doesn't give me a urinal cake again for my birthday this year."

"All of my passwords are the names of various ""Friends"" characters. Except for Ross. I've never used Ross. Not after what he did to Rachel."

"New health study on the psychology of midgets Shows that 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy"

"I'm beginning to believe that my road worker friend is a kleptomaniac.. So I went to his house to confront him and all the signs were there."

"Wow she actually noticed me! Time to pick a different tree."

"I almost had to fight someone today after they hit me with a stick, but he walked away like he didn't even see me."