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Joke of the Day
"Wow she actually noticed me! Time to pick a different tree."
Next Joke
"Why are lumberjacks bad at online video games? Because their connections are so weak they are always logging out."
"My neighbor still has his christmas lights up. Not to be out done, I won't remove my politcal yard signs until November 2012."
"What is brown, small, and smells of caramel? A diabetic who's been struck by lightning."
"A blind hooker tried to give me a BJ once she said I had the biggest penis ever. I said ""Ha, you're pulling my leg"""
"A ""lady"" and a ""woman"" are exactly the same thing unless they are prefaced with cat."
"Next OSX version announced!!! It will be called ""El Chapo"""
"A friend lectured me about going to see Star Wars alone, because ""that's weird."" As if chastising a grown man in a cloak is some normal shit"
"A homeless lady agreed to let me take her home I don't understand why she got pissed when I loaded the cardboard box in my pickup truck."
"I don't take a duece I make gold like a Lannister."