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Joke of the Day

"All of my passwords are the names of various ""Friends"" characters. Except for Ross. I've never used Ross. Not after what he did to Rachel."

"I accidentally took 1 of my girlfriend's multivitamins for women & I've been looking at engagement rings & crying uncontrollably for 4 hours"

"I failed the communism test. No Marx."

"Just watched a woman put on her sunglasses before walking into a restaurant, in case you wondered what living in LA is like."

"I remember as a child, lying awake at night on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa to come... ...then there was always that awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

"Wife: Tell me how many women you fucked during your 5 year trip. Husband: None! Wife: For every one that you tell me I'll give you a hundred dollars Husband: I don't need your 36000 dollars!"

"Did you know you are supposed to pull anal beads out slowly? I didn't... I started the wife up like a f*cking chainsaw."

"When I was younger, I always felt like I was a man trapped in a woman's body. Then I was born."

"Two mice were chewing on a film roll ..when one of them says: *I think the book was better*"

"The Special Olympics is like Nascar. You're not watching it for the race..."