202397

Joke of the Day

"Dear Bruno Mars, don't die for that b*tch. Obviously if someone is throwing grenades at her then she must be involved in some serious sh*t."

"*dad walks in on me doing homework* ""HAH NERD MORE LIKE HOMOWORK"" Dad you're still in third grade ""Probably because I'm not a nerd like you"""

"People with egg avatars are the extras having silent conversations that no one pays attention to."

"Yes, I am aware pigs are more intelligent than dogs. Why would I want to eat an inferior animal and absorb its lesser powers?"

"What did one ameoba say to the other ameoba? Go fuck yourself."

"The Post Office announced today that it is going to issue a stamp commemorating prostitution in the United States. It's a ten-cent stamp, but if you want to lick it, it's a quarter"

"What does the British monarchy and yeast have in common? They're both inbred."

"I'm not trying to be mean, but... I'm pretty average."

"There was a cricket on my toilet seat so I just backed out awkwardly. Lock the door next time, bro."

"[Wildebeest orbiting the earth in a spacesuit, uselessly kicking its legs madly every time a really grassy part comes into view]"