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Joke of the Day
"I told the cop I was an upstanding citizen But I was really lying"
Next Joke
"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was invited to a classical musician theme Halloween party? I'll be Bach."
"Why are kids with DS getting elected prom kings and queens? Either way, they're going down in history."
"Did you hear the Vikings traded Adrian Peterson? They traded him to the Minnesota Twins because the Twins needed a Switch Hitter."
"If a cop is at the door when I answer, I yell into the house ""Anyone order a stripper?"" then say ""Sorry, wrong house"" & slam the door shut."
"I bought some dog scented cologne the other day... Now I get all the bitches."
"What does a cow who's a jerk grow up to be? Beef Jerky."
"""This is not working out."" -My trainer, watching me work out"
"Turning water into wine is pretty cool but turning kale and celery into $9.50 is a miracle"
"A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre... so the barman gives her one."